It's been a while since I posted any of my usual hilarity-filed hate blogs, or hate-filled hilarious blogs for that matter. The simple truth is that while there's been plenty of things annoying me or worthy of writing about, they're often a bit flimsy to justify a whole blog. Move forward a few days and I've got loads of the mothers, so I'll stick them in one handy bilefest.
The easiest job in the world
It has come to my attention lately that there are some lollipop ladies who ply their trade at traffic lights. How easy is that? You don't even need a lolly - you just press the button when they get there (hardly a skill) and let the kids cross. The only slight bit of expertise I can think of is being able to time it so the kids arrive at the crossing just as the lights change. That said, it's still the easiest job ever. Lazy gets.
Winehouse
She's proper blown it, or so you'd think. A couple of highly-publicised piles or arse masquerading as concerts have seen her stock sink significantly, to the extent that she's cancelled all other engagements until the new year. Thinking she'd get her comeuppance, I was staggered to see the amount of support she's been offered since she packed it in. How's that happened? Her husband's in jail - boo hoo, that's his fault, and she's hardly the only prison widow in the world is she? It seems she gets wasted on all manner of high-class narcotics, fails to handle it, packs in her job and gets support. If a footballer or a politician did that, or for that matter anybody in the music world who wasn't deemed 'cool', they would be hammered to pieces by the press. Don't even get me started on them..
Racist teddy
As if a middle-aged woman from Liverpool would know enough about Sudanese culture to know that naming a teddy 'Mohammed' would be deemed religiously libellous. Nobody is having a go at the kids for picking it, nor the parents of the kid who's name was used. It seems the Sudanese government (who are famed for their ethnic cleansing caper) are using this as a stick to beat the UK with. Of course we're concerned about her well-being, but surely they know the kind of military punch we pack, not to mention the allies we have. In a few days they'll give her back and expect praise for being so reasonable. Yeah, putting her in the slammer for naming a teddy Mo was well reasonable. And 40 lashes? Jeez Louise...
It's (not) Christmas
Is it me, or does everybody seem in a right rush to get to Christmas this year? This year more than any other I've noticed or heard of trees going up already. When I saw mince pies in late September I expected that to be the exception, but everyone seems to be setting up shop early this year. Conversely, aside from the usual Coca-Cola dross and a few Dixons ads, the media doesn't seem to have got going yet. Maybe the keenness of the masses is making them look slow. Of course the shops don't need a second invitation; I heard Christmas songs on Remembrance Sunday in Next. Says all you need to know about society don't it?
Obvious loophole?
I really can't be arsed getting into this whole 'secret payments' lark with the government. Who really cares whether someone gives brass to a mate and says "Use it how you like, but it would be ace if you gave it to the Labour Party". So what if they did? It hardly matters does it. If the bloke wanted to keep his anonymity, that's up to him. It's just giving the Tories another stick to belt Gordie B with. Anyway, my point is this; if donations of £5000 or more have to be declared, why didn't he just write loads of cheques for £4,999?
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