A while ago I made the conscious decision to stop writing blogs about colleagues. On one hand, my job had changed slightly which meant I no longer got to fraternise with the sort of people who made blogging worthwhile in the first place. On the other hand, biting the hand that feeds you by slagging them off online does pose something of a conflict of interests, so I bit the bullet and started concentrating on my Kerry Katona hatred instead.
However, yesterday an event occurred at work which was so blogworthy that as it was still taking place, I was already thinking of a suitable title when I inevitably posted it online. So here goes.
At my place of work, we are able to buy stock directly from the company. It's a simple procedure which ends with us paying the balance to a suitably-elected member of staff who sits in his dreary office, crossing us off as we pay up. The office in question is cosy at best, meaning you're practically on top of him when you pop in with your hard-earned.
As usual, an announcement was made on the PA system that shop money was being collected, so I grabbed my invoice, chequebook and lucky pen and made my way to his office. As I approached, he had an unusual look on his face. A sort, of "Blimey, I didn't think anyone would be here that quick" sort of look. I'm sure you know the one.
Now, my record for paying for stock in a timely fashion is not exactly stellar. It's not that I'm tight, I just seem to never get round to it (I've been put on stop on more than one occasion as a result). I therefore suspected that the look on his face was more of a "Blimey, I didn't expect HIM to be here that quick". As I walked in, I began to explain that yes, I was in fact paying on time for a change. As I was explaining this, a strange smell began to invade my nostrils. I concluded my monologue, instinctively drew back from the as-yet unknown smell and waited for a response.
This is what I got.
"I knew somebody would walk in just after I'd farted"
Dear God. Now, I consider myself pretty quick on the draw words-wise, but I was totally stumped by this situation. I opted to pretend I hadn't yet smelt it, then suddenly picked it up and backed out of the room. Being a man in his late-40's, I expected an embarrassed, almost apologetic response. Instead, the next thing he said was:
"It's a corker, innit?!"
All I could muster was a gobsmacked nod, before I departed at speed (it transpired that I had to pay this particular bill to someone else, thank fuck).
The thing is, this guy actually KNEW people would shortly be visiting his office. It was him who asked for the announcement to be made to pay their bills in the first place, so he can't have been surprised when someone turned up within a minute or so. You have to wonder about his checklist when he decides to collect payments:
"Right, I'll put out the announcement first....puts out announcement...OK, I'll get me pen and a sheet of paper...gets pen and paper...now, what have I forgotten?....Oh yeah....BANG"
Why me?
No comments:
Post a Comment