The man who couldn't sue God

Yes, yes, I'm getting married. Stop going on about it, OK?

Despite it being 10 months away, we're very much in the throes of wedding fever at my house. Most surfaces are covered in a thin layer of wedding magazines and/or flyers for photographers, so I have little option but to go along with it, at least until I've got my suit anyway.

Last night, the topic on everyone's lips, wedding insurance, reared its ugly head. It transpires that you need to insure you wedding in case the church is closed down due to illness or you all die or somesuch. For a reasonable fee you can make sure you get your money back if the nuptial shit hits the fan.

Fair enough says I, but an interesting aside struck me during this discussion. It turns out that acts of God are explicitly not covered by insurance. Now, when you're buying a car, I sort of understand that your insurer can't be held responsible for a bolt of lightning melting the paintwork or a plague of locusts clogging up the manifold. However, I'm pretty sure that marriage (especially those held in a church as ours is) is some kind of religious affair where your love and commitment and demonstrated before...wait for it....you're gonna love this...only God!

So let me get this straight - you rock up at the church in your gladrags and go "Oi, God, look at us getting married. What do you reckon?" and he decides he doesn't like you and sets fire to the Roller parked outside. You haven't got a leg to stand on legally, plus you'll have a job on getting to the reception.

I'm not suggesting God is in the habit of exploiting loopholes in insurance policies, but given that at the very core of the marital process is presenting it before Him Upstairs (disregarding your particular religious leanings) you'd have thought the insurance company would give you a bit of leeway in case it rained for 40 days and 40 nights in the run-up to your special day. Obviously not.