Showboating: Ironic

We all know bigheads. Those people who think they're brilliant and act like Charlie Big Potatoes, strutting around in their white sneakers and large-peaked cap, using words like 'Dench' and 'Bo'
like they're going out of fashion.

Despite the epic douchebaggery of these people, in the main they're doing us no harm. Indeed, such people often reinforce the positive impression one has about oneself, leading us to opine "Well, it could be worse. I could be that large-hatted twat" or similar.

However, when a member of the arrogantista is in charge of a fuck-off cruise liner, that's the very definition of a recipe for disaster.

Step forward Francesco "Look, there's Guiseppe. Get closer so I can say hello" Schettino, the captain of the semi-submerged Costa Concordia. He was the skipper of the CC when he decided that maritime protocol was girl's stuff, and opted to sail past an Italian island close enough to salute one of his mates and ultimately show off. Alas, his antics led to his ship running aground, taking on water and ultimately succumbing to what shipping experts call 'sinking'.

The fall-out is pretty intense. Confirmed fatalities are into double figures as divers continue to scour the wreckage for survivors and/or bodies, while the ship's owners wasted no time in blaming Schettino for deviating off course and generally arsing about with 4,000 people's lives. He was promptly arrested and a leaked account of his interview confirms that he did in fact do a bit of detour to shout 'Bonjourno' to a friend. As you do.

This is where his arrogance goes into overdrive. In the interview, he quite spectacularly insisted that had it not been for his quick-thinking after hitting the rocks, many more lives would have been lost. You've got to have some seriously big bollocks to claim that rectifying your own stupidity is worthy of credit. This coming from a man who ended up on the receiving end of a monumental bollocking from the coastguard for abandoning ship before the passengers, while he protested that he had been catapulted off (presumably via inertia rather than some kind of elastic contraption) and couldn't get back on.

As you might imagine, there's very little chance he's going to get away with this. I presume his sailing licence has been ripped up and he's had to return his big white hat, and he can kiss goodbye to his freedom, let alone his future sea captaincy. You can't argue that he doesn't deserve it either, and hopefully this will send a message to other sailspeople who fancy demonstrating their high level of self-confidence in the future:

The sea is a cruel mistress, but rocks will fuck your ship right up.