Before we get going, let me make it abundantly clear that I have nothing against charities or those who do charitable deeds. I know several people who support very worthy causes every day and help raise funds and awareness for all manner of plights. They are not the target of my ire.
However...
Is it really necessary for every donation we make to be embellished by someone putting themselves through physical and sartorial torture just so we feel obliged to stump up?
A friend recently opined that there is no need for 'celebrities' to run the length of the British Isles or swim the Thames for our money, and that the important thing is the money is donated in the first place. I wholeheartedly agree with this, although I understand how showing a stadium comedian looking tired (with obligatory Coldplay soundtrack) is often required to tug at the purse strings and get us tightwads to part with our hard-earned cash IN THESE TIMES OF AUSTERITY.
However, on a local scale, I don't see why we can't have a whip-round and send in a cheque. We're busy people; we've got lives to lead and skin colours to judge; surely we can't be arsing around doing a 3-day Wii Bowling tournament or 24-hour cardioathon at a local gymnasium.
What's that? We can? Oh, right.
Like I said, I'm all for stumping up to pay for a new wheelchair or what have you, but do I really have to piss about on a treadmill for an hour while my colleagues shout slogans at me? Can't you just have the fiver and I can get on with my life? I don't want to wear matching T-shirts or be part of a poorly-named team or be in the local rag. I just want to put the kettle on and light a massive cigar.
Having said that, if one day I need to buy a new kettle or one of those things to snip the end off the aforementioned cigar, it would only be right that John Bishop pogoed across Britain's suspension bridges to raise the necessary awareness and funds. We all know he's got nothing better to do.
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