Thursday, 27 June 2013

(Don't) get your tits out

Before we start, this is a rant, not a complaint, so any mention of irony is entirely unfounded.

Who are these people who are so offended by the most banal, nondescript things shown on TV that they are moved to ring the TV station and complain about it?

The latest in a long line of busybodying concerns walking tooth factory Holly Willoughrack, who wore a dress that at best could be described as 'riqsue', at worst 'mildly alluring'. Househusbands favourite Holly is not averse to wearing tight-fitting garb and continued that impressive run on prime-time shout-fest The Voice over the weekend, where crowing wannabees are hauled in front of the great and the Will.I.Am of modern music to sing for their supper, while their family understandably cry in the green room. Last Saturday's show saw Miss Willoughjumperbumps wearing a seemingly offensive dress, with a modest cut-out in the boobal area showing her goods in a manner that you would expect at a former gangster's funeral.

The fall-out (arf) though was unprecedented; over 100 complaints to the BBC about the unsuitability of the outfit. The Beeb were even moved to release a statement accepting the complaints, as if she turned up wearing a full body stocking with fig leaves covering her gubbins.

Now, I've studied these pictures repeatedly from every conceivable angle and I'm yet to find anything remotely inappropriate about them. I understand that the programme is on at a time accessible by kids so certain standards need to be upheld, but I'd be very surprised if any toddlers were among the 100 or so goons deploring the partial display of Holly Willoughshirtpotatoes' funbags.

Seriously, if you're that offended, why don't you just turn over? There are plenty of things which offend me on TV - that faux-reality Made in Chelsea cobblers, the breathless coverage of the most minor of events by Sky News as if the world is about to implode, any ITV drama - and the fact that they're watching The Voice, yet are only moved to complain about the host's get-up says more about them than society in general.

The BBC don't care about your views. They don't care that you're offended, not least because it creates a story and gives their dreadful output free publicity. You're not in their key demographic; you don't say 'Amaze-balls', you don't wear a cap far too big for you, and you don't think Channel 4's haikus are entertaining. You're a middle-aged busybody who thinks that anything not presented by that lovely Fiona Bruce is akin to Nazism. If you really want to make an impact, try writing a blog on that Internet. Then people will sit up and take notice.

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