Well, you will go exposing yourself on planes...

An unprecedented story today in the news, about a group of lads off on a foreign holiday who behaved badly on the flight, abusing staff and exposing themselves to the crew and others. When they got to Greece, the Feds were waiting to take them away. After being held up for an hour and a half, they were bizarrely released without charge.

In the meantime, the airline (First Choice) told them that they could sod off if they thought they were allowed to fly back with them at the end of their holiday.

All reasonable so far, yes? But what makes it so good was that First Choice then went on to sprag on the lads to all the other major airlines, meaning none of them would touch the group with a ten-foot barge pole. They're now effectively stranded and will probably have to fork out for a bus ticket to get back. That'll be fun.

I love the thought of all these multi-million-pound industries resorting to playground tactics when it comes to misbehaving clientelle. A bit of "Them lads from Surrey will get their cocks out on your plane...pass it on" is exactly what these cretins need to finally realise that they can't go around acting like complete arses and expect to be welcomed back anytime soon.

On the radio, the female spokesperson was every inch your Mum when you're in bother. She actually used the phrase "Well they should have thought about that" when pushed on the issue of grassing them up to others, and she audibly smiled when contemplating their return trip options. I'm loving that. It's about time more companies stop pandering to the low-life 'tards in the perpetual pursuit of the American dollar and said "Actually mate, I don't give a shite how much you spent on your tickets. If you're going to act like a child, we're gonna treat you like one. Do one". Bravo, says I.

What next - Microsoft Windows telling you to stand in the corner and think about what you've done when you download porn? Banks ringing each other up behind your back to say that you smell, and so does your credit rating? Whatever happens, all I know is I'm keeping it in my drawers next time I fly...