When you're out, in a busy pub, or anywhere where it's quiet enough to hear other people's conversations as they pass, you're gonna hear the odd gem that deserves a wider airing.
Such an incident occurred last night.
I was waiting for a mate to return with drinks as a group of 3-4 lads wandered past, heavily in conversation. I wasn't eavesdropping but as they passed it was impossible not to hear them. In the few steps before they went past I picked up they were talking about chocolate bars from the past, and one of the protagonists issued this little comment:
"Yeah, my favourite used to be Marathon. I loved them"
Now, he didn't actually say "It's a shame they no longer exist" but his tone and general delivery heavily suggested that he rues the fact that he can longer get hold of a Marathon bar.
Is it just me who wanted to shout "Well buy a bloody Snickers then"? Chances are that seconds later he went on to discuss Snickers but that's the danger of talking as you pass people - the chance that they'll pick up on a small section of your debate, take it massively out of context and splash it all over the Internet for their own comedic ends. That's why I always stall when I'm passing strangers so they don't hear me say something libel and I end up in the big house. Possibly with Jim MacDonald. Stranger things have happened.
Sunday, 30 September 2007
Thursday, 27 September 2007
If that's her, then I'm a monkey's uncle
Come on, 'fess up. How many of you actually thought that the girl who looked nowt like Madeleine McCann would actually turn out to be her? You might as well have sent a picture of Kris Akabusi to the cops and said "Is this her?"
Aside from the obvious question "why the pissing hell were you taking snaps of the locals?" you just know once the Spanish bird got them developed she was like "Hold on el momento, that looks slightly less than 5% like old McCanno - I reckon we could flog this to the press for a shitload of liras". They saw the fleeting chance of stardom and took it, the sick bastardos. Who knows, they might have even thought it was her and took the picture, but I'll bet you a sizable some that they were humming the Spanish equivalent of "I'm in the money" when they took it.
Is this how desperate this search has become? Another blond child (albeit a year or so older than Maddy) is spotted in Morocco so it's all over the papers for 24 hours? Jesus Harold Christ if that isn't a straw-clutching fest. I do genuinely feel sorry for the little mite but these sort of cry wolf efforts are going to turn the public cynical double quick. Hands up who thinks the press only published it to flog papers?
Anyway, I for one hope she is found, and maybe she'll be able to tell us what happened (best news conference ever, I'm sure you'll agree) but in all truth this will turn out to be another Ben Needham case, and we might as well pack up and concentrate on something we've got more chance of achieving, like winning in Iraq or summat. Sad but true.
Aside from the obvious question "why the pissing hell were you taking snaps of the locals?" you just know once the Spanish bird got them developed she was like "Hold on el momento, that looks slightly less than 5% like old McCanno - I reckon we could flog this to the press for a shitload of liras". They saw the fleeting chance of stardom and took it, the sick bastardos. Who knows, they might have even thought it was her and took the picture, but I'll bet you a sizable some that they were humming the Spanish equivalent of "I'm in the money" when they took it.
Is this how desperate this search has become? Another blond child (albeit a year or so older than Maddy) is spotted in Morocco so it's all over the papers for 24 hours? Jesus Harold Christ if that isn't a straw-clutching fest. I do genuinely feel sorry for the little mite but these sort of cry wolf efforts are going to turn the public cynical double quick. Hands up who thinks the press only published it to flog papers?
Anyway, I for one hope she is found, and maybe she'll be able to tell us what happened (best news conference ever, I'm sure you'll agree) but in all truth this will turn out to be another Ben Needham case, and we might as well pack up and concentrate on something we've got more chance of achieving, like winning in Iraq or summat. Sad but true.
Sunday, 23 September 2007
A lifetime's silence, please
I was sad to hear of the death of Marcel Marseau today, the French mime artist who managed to make a career out of the most pointless branch of art this side of juggling. Fair play to the lad, he became world famous for it (beating off competition from the thousands of other mime artists around the world that we know and love) and somehow managed to keep paying the bills using the same old act for the hundred odd years he was doing it. Hat doffage there.
Of course, me being me, I can't get the thought of his funeral out of my head. Aside from it being a quiet affair (arf), I'm can imagine it's going to be held in a massive glass box which you must feel your way around to locate your seat. Apparently there is a ladder leading to the door, although it's quite breezy outside so you may have to lean into the wind to make any headway. Anybody who brings a briefcase which gets stuck in midair is to leave it by the door, and there will be a slap-up banquet of bananas at the wake. Sounds like a hoot.
Of course, me being me, I can't get the thought of his funeral out of my head. Aside from it being a quiet affair (arf), I'm can imagine it's going to be held in a massive glass box which you must feel your way around to locate your seat. Apparently there is a ladder leading to the door, although it's quite breezy outside so you may have to lean into the wind to make any headway. Anybody who brings a briefcase which gets stuck in midair is to leave it by the door, and there will be a slap-up banquet of bananas at the wake. Sounds like a hoot.
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
Where there's blame, there's a &%#£~*
I made the very grave error of listening to a phone-in radio show on the way to work today - huge mistake. I make it my business to stay away from this sort of caper usually, but I was trying to get updates on the cricket (fat lot of good that was) so I had to persevere with this idiotfest.
Now, I expect this programme to be littered with the unemployed and slightly racist retired of this great nation at this time, so I wasn't surprised that there was a recovering alcoholic and a heavily opinionated man on the show. What did strike me though was the unbelievable level of blame that they place on other people for their or their familes' shortcomings.
The alky was on a feature about supermarkets flogging ale on the cheap which is leading to an increase in alcohol consumption (I'll digress slightly to say that it didn't say increased alcoholism; just an increased intake. Not exactly the end of the world). Anyway, this chap said that he drank more because it was cheaper to get hold of. Now, if that's not blaming others for your problems then I don't know what it. He was asked if the prices were greater, would that have stopped him drinking as much, and he had the brass neck to say it would. What sort of pisshead is he? The sort that drinks to a budget. Spend any time talking or reading about this 'disease' and you'll quickly learn that a little drawback such as not having enough money is far from a prevention. They'll just nick it, or nick money off loved ones to get it. So straight away he's talking cobblers.
I just couldn't believe he was laying the blame for his weakness at the door of the supermarket, who flog millions of pounds worth of ale to the likes of us normal folk who don't drink as a hobby. It's pathetic, spineless and self-deluded and in my opinion the host didn't take him in hand on this one and point out the flaw in his argument.
Anyway, that finished, I calmed down and we went onto the next feature. Apparently, there had been some cops on the show earlier talking about how difficult their job was what with all of the paperwork and such which prevented real crime fighting. Enter nemesis number 2.
This old guy came on and told a monumentally boring story about how his daughter had gone to his house when he wasn't in, and ended up being trapped on the balcony by a spider (must've been a big 'un). He justified this lameness with the 'fact' that she was an arachnaphobe of the highest order, so she immediately phoned her dad, brother and friend to get them over to kill it. The obviously didn't think she was that scared of them because they all said no, but her friend suggested she call the Feds as 'they deal with this kind of thing'. You can see where we're going with this...
So she rings them and tells them what's occurring, but it should be noted that he didn't say she'd mentioned the spider to them (he said "she's articulate so she must have done") and an hour later, 8 cops in a black Maria turned up asking about the incident she'd reported.
This time the host got it right, and asked how this was the cops' fault when an incident (note - no spider mentioned) was reported, and he went on to say that because she's such a big old arachnaphobe, they should be expected to attend such distressing ordeals. So, not only did he seriously think that the cops should race to the scene of a spider, but he then went on to bemoan the attendance of so many. In all likelihood they were returning from another call and popped in, but he happily sidestepped that to make this ridiculous point. He was blaming the coppers for sending too many people, cleverly avoiding the fact his daughter is a grade-A cretin for calling them.
Unfortunately I missed the rest of the interview because I turned the radio off and said a swear word, but I'd heard enough. It's about bloody time these sort of people were rounded up and were taught how to take responsibility for their own actions/drinking/cretinous children, instead of blaming all and sundry for their terrible lot in life. They're a disgrace and no error.
Now, I expect this programme to be littered with the unemployed and slightly racist retired of this great nation at this time, so I wasn't surprised that there was a recovering alcoholic and a heavily opinionated man on the show. What did strike me though was the unbelievable level of blame that they place on other people for their or their familes' shortcomings.
The alky was on a feature about supermarkets flogging ale on the cheap which is leading to an increase in alcohol consumption (I'll digress slightly to say that it didn't say increased alcoholism; just an increased intake. Not exactly the end of the world). Anyway, this chap said that he drank more because it was cheaper to get hold of. Now, if that's not blaming others for your problems then I don't know what it. He was asked if the prices were greater, would that have stopped him drinking as much, and he had the brass neck to say it would. What sort of pisshead is he? The sort that drinks to a budget. Spend any time talking or reading about this 'disease' and you'll quickly learn that a little drawback such as not having enough money is far from a prevention. They'll just nick it, or nick money off loved ones to get it. So straight away he's talking cobblers.
I just couldn't believe he was laying the blame for his weakness at the door of the supermarket, who flog millions of pounds worth of ale to the likes of us normal folk who don't drink as a hobby. It's pathetic, spineless and self-deluded and in my opinion the host didn't take him in hand on this one and point out the flaw in his argument.
Anyway, that finished, I calmed down and we went onto the next feature. Apparently, there had been some cops on the show earlier talking about how difficult their job was what with all of the paperwork and such which prevented real crime fighting. Enter nemesis number 2.
This old guy came on and told a monumentally boring story about how his daughter had gone to his house when he wasn't in, and ended up being trapped on the balcony by a spider (must've been a big 'un). He justified this lameness with the 'fact' that she was an arachnaphobe of the highest order, so she immediately phoned her dad, brother and friend to get them over to kill it. The obviously didn't think she was that scared of them because they all said no, but her friend suggested she call the Feds as 'they deal with this kind of thing'. You can see where we're going with this...
So she rings them and tells them what's occurring, but it should be noted that he didn't say she'd mentioned the spider to them (he said "she's articulate so she must have done") and an hour later, 8 cops in a black Maria turned up asking about the incident she'd reported.
This time the host got it right, and asked how this was the cops' fault when an incident (note - no spider mentioned) was reported, and he went on to say that because she's such a big old arachnaphobe, they should be expected to attend such distressing ordeals. So, not only did he seriously think that the cops should race to the scene of a spider, but he then went on to bemoan the attendance of so many. In all likelihood they were returning from another call and popped in, but he happily sidestepped that to make this ridiculous point. He was blaming the coppers for sending too many people, cleverly avoiding the fact his daughter is a grade-A cretin for calling them.
Unfortunately I missed the rest of the interview because I turned the radio off and said a swear word, but I'd heard enough. It's about bloody time these sort of people were rounded up and were taught how to take responsibility for their own actions/drinking/cretinous children, instead of blaming all and sundry for their terrible lot in life. They're a disgrace and no error.
Monday, 17 September 2007
It would be easier if you weren't on telly, mate
What the hell is OJ Simpson up to now? Not content with getting away with the most obvious murder since Hear'Say picked up microphones, he's now been arrested on suspicion of armed robbery.
Where the hell do you start with that one?
First and foremost, I can't believe a man who is that recognisable would do something so stupid. He's one of the most known faces in the world, let alone the US after his court case, so where's the logic in sticking a gun up someone's nose to nick their sports memorabilia? They're not exactly gonna say "Now where I have I seen him before?". The cops would be onto old OJ before he was in the foyer, the silly sod.
Then there's the act itself. Is he that much on the bones of his arse that he needs to start robbing now? I know his unbelievably distasteful book (where he describes in detail how he would have killed his wife and lover if he had done it) was pulled at the 11th hour, but surely he's still got a few quid knocking around? I'm not sure how popular he still is in the States, but I'm sure he could make a few bob on the after-dinner circuit, talking about his glittering football career if nothing else. The whole thing smacks of desperation and documents another downturn in the car crash that is OJ's life these days. Pillock.
Where the hell do you start with that one?
First and foremost, I can't believe a man who is that recognisable would do something so stupid. He's one of the most known faces in the world, let alone the US after his court case, so where's the logic in sticking a gun up someone's nose to nick their sports memorabilia? They're not exactly gonna say "Now where I have I seen him before?". The cops would be onto old OJ before he was in the foyer, the silly sod.
Then there's the act itself. Is he that much on the bones of his arse that he needs to start robbing now? I know his unbelievably distasteful book (where he describes in detail how he would have killed his wife and lover if he had done it) was pulled at the 11th hour, but surely he's still got a few quid knocking around? I'm not sure how popular he still is in the States, but I'm sure he could make a few bob on the after-dinner circuit, talking about his glittering football career if nothing else. The whole thing smacks of desperation and documents another downturn in the car crash that is OJ's life these days. Pillock.
Friday, 14 September 2007
Namey McNameName
Everyone thinks they're funny. Many are not. I, however, am a spectacular buck in that particular trend, cos I'm goddamn hilarious. But, as Uncle Ben says to Spider-Man shortly before he gets killed by that unconvincing baddie - "With great power comes great responsibility"
In my role as Jokes Hilaureat (self-titled), it is my responsibility to pass on the tips and tricks of the comedy trade to my common man, to make them that little bit funnier. As my common man is not around today (see - always thinking of comedic angles to exploit) I thought I'd pass the value onto you. Today, we're talking about constructing the comedy name.
There are many funny names in society - Neville Neville, Desmond Tutu, Cher, but to construct your own comedy name, you need only two things - some syllables and a 'Mc'.
Allow me to demonstrate - say one of your friends has a penchant for sitting on the toilet for an extended length of time. With minimal wordplay, and the ubiquitous 'Mc', you can create 'Boggy McSitSit', 'Louie McCackAges', 'Toilet McHurryUp' in seconds. They literally roll of the tongue, and like clip show hosted by Steve Penk, if it's done well, it's exceptional.
In the words of Scouse school glue-botherer Neil Buchanan, "Try it yourself". It's Simple McPissEasy...
In my role as Jokes Hilaureat (self-titled), it is my responsibility to pass on the tips and tricks of the comedy trade to my common man, to make them that little bit funnier. As my common man is not around today (see - always thinking of comedic angles to exploit) I thought I'd pass the value onto you. Today, we're talking about constructing the comedy name.
There are many funny names in society - Neville Neville, Desmond Tutu, Cher, but to construct your own comedy name, you need only two things - some syllables and a 'Mc'.
Allow me to demonstrate - say one of your friends has a penchant for sitting on the toilet for an extended length of time. With minimal wordplay, and the ubiquitous 'Mc', you can create 'Boggy McSitSit', 'Louie McCackAges', 'Toilet McHurryUp' in seconds. They literally roll of the tongue, and like clip show hosted by Steve Penk, if it's done well, it's exceptional.
In the words of Scouse school glue-botherer Neil Buchanan, "Try it yourself". It's Simple McPissEasy...
Sunday, 9 September 2007
Look - she's picking her nose
Doubtless by now you will have heard about the latest in Madeleine McCann's disappearance, when 48 hours after being officially declared as suspects, the parents jumped on a plane and came back to England. It's a spectacular piece of bad PR for the search efforts as despite claims that they want to get their other children home, it just looks like they've cut and run. Granted they will be made to go back soon for further investigation, but I don't think anyone's buying their insistence that they were already planning to come back when they've been there for months and only come back when the cops get frisky.
I'm not for a minute going to comment on the potential guilt or otherwise of the McCanns (although she has the dead eyes of a convict, and the way they deflect accusations from the press don't exactly convince you that they are offended about being accused), but I do want to pass several comments on the unbelievable level of coverage their return generated. Obviously it's a big step in the case due to the points I made above, but do we really need to see live footage of the plane landing at East Midlands, then 20 minutes of the other passengers being led off before they're finally allowed to get off? Sky even had the 'SkyCopter' on the scene, just in case a ground-level camera by the door of the plane wasn't sufficient. It was pure sensationalism and as I write, 6 hours after they arrived there are still 'Breaking News' tickers on the main news channels telling us they're back. Honestly, who gives that much of a shit?
At the end of the day, the case is far from over. If they'd been charged and then did one on a plane, fair enough, but this was simply a family returning from Portugal. Their village was crawling with press hours before they even got on the plane, and ridiculously, during coverage of further fatalities in Afghanistan, there was a live feed from the front door of their home to keep us up to speed. Fine, if this hadn't been 10am this morning.
It just goes to show that these 24-hour news channels have got bugger all to talk about, and see anything slightly above the ordinary as a chance to prove their existence. Everything that has gone on today could be quickly tied up in 3-4 sentences at the top of the bulletin, but instead they've got correspondents all over the shop (including at the airport they flew FROM , hours after they left). I simply cannot believe anyone would still be sitting in front of their telly waiting for further developments. All that's left to announce is what they had for their tea. I expect that to make the late bulletin though...
I'm not for a minute going to comment on the potential guilt or otherwise of the McCanns (although she has the dead eyes of a convict, and the way they deflect accusations from the press don't exactly convince you that they are offended about being accused), but I do want to pass several comments on the unbelievable level of coverage their return generated. Obviously it's a big step in the case due to the points I made above, but do we really need to see live footage of the plane landing at East Midlands, then 20 minutes of the other passengers being led off before they're finally allowed to get off? Sky even had the 'SkyCopter' on the scene, just in case a ground-level camera by the door of the plane wasn't sufficient. It was pure sensationalism and as I write, 6 hours after they arrived there are still 'Breaking News' tickers on the main news channels telling us they're back. Honestly, who gives that much of a shit?
At the end of the day, the case is far from over. If they'd been charged and then did one on a plane, fair enough, but this was simply a family returning from Portugal. Their village was crawling with press hours before they even got on the plane, and ridiculously, during coverage of further fatalities in Afghanistan, there was a live feed from the front door of their home to keep us up to speed. Fine, if this hadn't been 10am this morning.
It just goes to show that these 24-hour news channels have got bugger all to talk about, and see anything slightly above the ordinary as a chance to prove their existence. Everything that has gone on today could be quickly tied up in 3-4 sentences at the top of the bulletin, but instead they've got correspondents all over the shop (including at the airport they flew FROM , hours after they left). I simply cannot believe anyone would still be sitting in front of their telly waiting for further developments. All that's left to announce is what they had for their tea. I expect that to make the late bulletin though...
Friday, 7 September 2007
Hold on, I thought you were married?
I love going out. Letting the old hair down and spending a small fortune on premium European lager while discussing the topics of the day and/or gameshow ideas is what makes me tick. I'm still young in relative terms but the chances to get out with my mates will inevitably lessen as we move towards our 'mature' years, so any opportunities are to be grabbed with both hands.
Lately, a friendly clique at work has formed who are having regular nights out in Leeds. I say regular; next Friday will be our second, but we've settled on a nice group of like-minded people who want to go out, have a laugh and do A-grade impressions of their colleagues. The usual.
However, I was discussing the forthcoming event with another of the attendees and he mentioned that he was in Glasgow during the day, but he'd move heaven and earth to be back on time. I praised his determination to get back for the festivities, but my praise was cut short when he declared that he wanted to be there because one of the lasses who's going out with us is 'well fit'.
Now, you know my opinion on perving over people at work; there's no need for it. We all like to look at a bit of eye candy to pass the day, but if it's not distracting then it's surely compromising work relationships. Call me a fuddy-duddy if you will (if you're Beatrix Potter) but I prefer to treat all people the same and get on with my work. The Mrs can bear the brunt of my perversions. I digress...
By now you're probably thinking 'Hold on a sec, fella. There's nothing wrong with a gentlemen finding physical attraction in a young bint. Leave 'em be'. And I would, if he wasn't married. I cannot begin to contemplate the mindset required to leave your better half at home, and concentrate all of your going out energies on a member of the opposite sex who'll be on the night out. I'm happily settled down so this sort of caper doesn't interest me, but even when I was single, I wasn't busting a gut to be there because of a nice looking bit of blart. As I've already said, I enjoy arguing about Hollyoaks over a few pints, having a bit of a dance then some cheesy chips. Not once does the thought of the qualities of the females in attendance enter my head. It sounds like a moralistic lie but it really is true. If I wasn't happy in my relationship then I'l split up; I wouldn't cruise around town on a work do trying to cop off with Brenda from Accounts (name and department changed to protect the harrassed).
At the end of the day, if this lad is going to make a play for said bird, I won't stand in his way, but any respect for him will be out of the window. I doubt he'll give a shit, but somebody's got to take a stand against the morally questionable of this world. Cheers.
Lately, a friendly clique at work has formed who are having regular nights out in Leeds. I say regular; next Friday will be our second, but we've settled on a nice group of like-minded people who want to go out, have a laugh and do A-grade impressions of their colleagues. The usual.
However, I was discussing the forthcoming event with another of the attendees and he mentioned that he was in Glasgow during the day, but he'd move heaven and earth to be back on time. I praised his determination to get back for the festivities, but my praise was cut short when he declared that he wanted to be there because one of the lasses who's going out with us is 'well fit'.
Now, you know my opinion on perving over people at work; there's no need for it. We all like to look at a bit of eye candy to pass the day, but if it's not distracting then it's surely compromising work relationships. Call me a fuddy-duddy if you will (if you're Beatrix Potter) but I prefer to treat all people the same and get on with my work. The Mrs can bear the brunt of my perversions. I digress...
By now you're probably thinking 'Hold on a sec, fella. There's nothing wrong with a gentlemen finding physical attraction in a young bint. Leave 'em be'. And I would, if he wasn't married. I cannot begin to contemplate the mindset required to leave your better half at home, and concentrate all of your going out energies on a member of the opposite sex who'll be on the night out. I'm happily settled down so this sort of caper doesn't interest me, but even when I was single, I wasn't busting a gut to be there because of a nice looking bit of blart. As I've already said, I enjoy arguing about Hollyoaks over a few pints, having a bit of a dance then some cheesy chips. Not once does the thought of the qualities of the females in attendance enter my head. It sounds like a moralistic lie but it really is true. If I wasn't happy in my relationship then I'l split up; I wouldn't cruise around town on a work do trying to cop off with Brenda from Accounts (name and department changed to protect the harrassed).
At the end of the day, if this lad is going to make a play for said bird, I won't stand in his way, but any respect for him will be out of the window. I doubt he'll give a shit, but somebody's got to take a stand against the morally questionable of this world. Cheers.
Wednesday, 5 September 2007
Obvious filler blog - Dogs vs Cats
I used to quite like The Really Wild Show. Nutkins, with his backwards hair, Michela Strachan (fit then, still fit now) and that lisping dude with the bog brush hair brought awareness and an enthusiasm about the world and its nature, and inspired a generation of PlayStationers.
However, old Nutko proper pissed me off today, with his take on the plight of birds in the wild. Put simply, he summised that dogs don't kill birds, but cats were responsible for 30 million bird deaths a year (so that's what he's being doing with his spare time). The interviewer then asked what he would do about it. His answer? "I'd cull 50% of cats straight away". What a mature and well balanced outlook that is, Tez. Well done.
It goes without saying he's a dog lover, hence his barely-concealed hatred of all things feline, but in my opinion someone of his standing should be a bit more tolerant of the circle of life. Fair enough, loads of birds are killed by cats, but plenty of kids are killed by dogs and you don't hear him going about a cull then, do you?
I've never hidden my feelings about the whole dogs v cats debate. I'm a cat lover through and through, and I think dogs are cack. That said, I'm perfectly tolerant of them, and have no ill feeling towards them and their owners. For the record, the generally accepted stereotype is dogs are thick but loyal, while cats are intelligent but aloof and up their own arse. I don't need to tell anyone with an ounce of gumption that there are millions of exceptions to this rule. For example, my cats are thick, and I've seen plenty of disloyal dogs (ones that bite your firstborn's head off, for example). You can't go around saying you think an animal should be culled because you don't like them. Espeically when you're considered something of an expert in the field of nature and are invited onto a radio show to give your professional view.
In conclusion - Terry Nutkins used to be cool. Now he's a self-serving, opinionated old goat. Cheers.
However, old Nutko proper pissed me off today, with his take on the plight of birds in the wild. Put simply, he summised that dogs don't kill birds, but cats were responsible for 30 million bird deaths a year (so that's what he's being doing with his spare time). The interviewer then asked what he would do about it. His answer? "I'd cull 50% of cats straight away". What a mature and well balanced outlook that is, Tez. Well done.
It goes without saying he's a dog lover, hence his barely-concealed hatred of all things feline, but in my opinion someone of his standing should be a bit more tolerant of the circle of life. Fair enough, loads of birds are killed by cats, but plenty of kids are killed by dogs and you don't hear him going about a cull then, do you?
I've never hidden my feelings about the whole dogs v cats debate. I'm a cat lover through and through, and I think dogs are cack. That said, I'm perfectly tolerant of them, and have no ill feeling towards them and their owners. For the record, the generally accepted stereotype is dogs are thick but loyal, while cats are intelligent but aloof and up their own arse. I don't need to tell anyone with an ounce of gumption that there are millions of exceptions to this rule. For example, my cats are thick, and I've seen plenty of disloyal dogs (ones that bite your firstborn's head off, for example). You can't go around saying you think an animal should be culled because you don't like them. Espeically when you're considered something of an expert in the field of nature and are invited onto a radio show to give your professional view.
In conclusion - Terry Nutkins used to be cool. Now he's a self-serving, opinionated old goat. Cheers.
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