It's a round-up

It's been ages since I've said anything noteworthy on the blog (some gag-merchants may wager I'm yet to do so). So have a round-up:

Why I could never be a teacher
You've got to feel sorry for that teacher who got so wound up by his class that he ended up trying to stove one of their heads in while bellowing "Die, die, die". It's yet to be proven whether he was using an unusually aggressive method of teaching him German for 'The', but you've got to wonder what they did to get him to react like this.

Apparently he'd recently been off with depression and had even warned his superiors that he'd gone a bit mad and might not be the best person to be teaching these reprobates, but they didn't listen and here we are. He was good enough to admit he meant to do it, and has subsequently been cleared of attempted murder, but he'll be doing bird anyway, because the powers that be (or 'nazis' as I would label them) frown upon kicking kids' heads in. It's who you know.

I have no urge to ever be a teacher, and have respect for those who opt to do it. I don't have what you'd call an explosive temper, but I could feasibly see a situation where a bit of 'meet K and O' would be better than making them sit in the corner or sending them to the head. The way I see it, work out who the ringleader is, take them down (possibly to Chinatown) and the rest will toe the line and behave. Yes, you might have to explain why one of your flock has suddenly lost certain letters from their alphabet, or has an irrational fear of bunsen burners, but that's a risk I'd be prepared to take to get a bit of discipline.


Little (interest) People
There's a documentary on at the moment called Little People, which basically follows the lives of a newly-married couple, both of whom suffer from some kind of dwarfism. They're perfectly nice people and seem to have a happy life, but the documentary makers seemed to have confused their unusual physical traits with an interesting life. Indeed, aside from them visiting a fertility expert to determine the medical ramifications of childbirth, they're just like any other normal couple, and as such are monumentually tedious to the layman. I can't confess to watching this programme avidly, having accidentally caught an episode the Mrs was watching, but there comes a point when you say "But they're not doing anything; they're just small". They don't deal with the hardships of being short, or face any discrimination or are seemingly held back in any way, so I fail to see what the interest is in them. After you get over the initial novelty of them both being shorter than average, the whole thing becomes an exercise in watching someone's home videos. And you would only ever do that if someone gets their tits out.


Give that lad a clap (test)
Having employed an incredibly complex scientific equation based heavily on me having a guess, the average age of staff at my place of work must be late 20's at least. In fact, when I think of the various simpletons who've carved a perfectly serviceable career here, it's highly possible that that age is nearer mid-thirties.

Coupled with that is the fact most people are either married or in long-term relationships, which makes the appearance of posters offering free chlamydia tests all the more puzzling. If this was a store specialising in young, single Saturday staff I could understand it, but it seems rather unnecessary here. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a number of the clientele like to indulge in a bit of extra-marital slap and/or tickle of an evening, but they're likely to be careful enough not to get their fingers (or other extremities) burnt, and are even less likely to trudge down to our laughable first aid room put their names forward for a free scrape.