Wednesday, 24 September 2008

There's a problem, but I can't put my finger on it

Has anyone heard this story of a Labour MP who is suing some bloke who's dog allegedly bit his finger off when posting pamphlets? I say 'allegedly' because of the utterly bizarre nature of the story, as follows:

- Bloke gets home and finds a severed finger on his doormat
- Lobs it in the fridge and rings the Feds
- Nobody comes forward so after a few months he chucks it away
- 18 MONTHS later, this clown rocks up demanding his finger back and some compo

How the hell has he gone 18 months without complaining about this?! Did he look down at his hand one day, notice the missing digit and start hunting around the house, assuming he'd put it down somewhere without realising? I'm not a doctor, but I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that if you had your finger bitten off, you'd know about it pretty sharpish. The blood and missing finger would be a clue for a kick-off.

Having thought about it for a while, I've only managed to come up with 2 reasons why he delayed making contact:

1) He managed to chop his own finger off (or somebody did it on his behalf)- possibly as a drunken prank or ninja-style revenge attack - and it ended up being posted through this bloke's letterbox. Fearing the cops would laugh at him, he went home and cried. 18 months later he noticed the owner of the house had a dog, so hatched a plan to blame the pooch for the incident.

OR

2) He was unable to dial the cops until he worked out how to use his other fingers, which took him 18 months.

Over to you, reader...

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