Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Slag + Email = Sympathy

I made the mistake of listening to omnipresent dirge-fest Radio 1 the other day. To be fair, I'd missed Moyles and Whiley was off so they were basically playing decent tunes from the last 10 years or so, which almost made the identikit blithering idiot's witterings between the tracks almost bearable.

One feature I do like about this late morning show is "Changing Tracks". For those of you not in the know, this is where someone emails in a story about themselves, usually sad or inspiring and preceding a track which reminds them of this particular time or person. They're often tragic tales but the tunes tend to be nostalgic classics, which seems to heal the pain slightly.

Anyway, the track on this particular day was chosen by some bint. I refuse to be pleasant towards here because her story was absolutely pathetic. It went something like this:

- Went travelling for a year with her boyfriend. Had a "wonderful time" (her words)
- Got home and remembered some bloke she used to work with for whom she had feelings
- Texted him and they agreed to meet up
- Had a "wonderful evening" (note the repetition here) but pulled away when he tried to kiss her because she had a boyfriend
- Spent an extended length of time to-ing and fro-ing about the other dude
- Texts him and gets no response
- Gives up then gets a reply from his sister. He's only gone and had an accident and is laid up in hospital. They agree for her to visit
- He carks is overnight before she's due to see him
- She tells her fella and he does one. She's dead sad and needs this tune to cheer her up

So basically, this bird had such a wonderful time travelling that the minute her feet touched the tarmac at Heathrow she was on the blower organising to meet some other bloke. At no point did she express sorrow about upsetting her boyfriend; the entire thing was geared towards how terrible it was for her. Just a few points:

- She dumped her fella, not the other way round
- She set up the date with the other bloke behind boyf's back
- The other bloke actually died, which is probably worse than not dying (like she did)
- She started all of this

I have absolutely no sympathy at all for her. I'm not saying she deserved it, but those who believe in karma must be nodding knowingly as they read this. I feel sorry for the poor bastard who joshed it (no idea if he knew she was already attached) and her boyfriend who was oblivious to this having spent 12 months travelling with the adulterous tart.

What made matters worse was the presenter felt sorry for her. Jesus wept. I'm seriously tempted to send in a tale about how I've murdered loads of people but my machete blade broke off in my last victim so I can't kill anyone any more. Woe is indeed me.

And the song was shit. What a gyp.

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