This is a real turn up for the books, I don't mind telling you. I mean, in the grand scheme of the things I feel, experience and swear about on a day-to-day basis, this is a biggie.
I actually cared when I found out Jade Goody is dying.
Now, to most human beings, such a reaction is expected; commonplace even. But I'm not most human beings (some maintain I'm not human at all). When stories of this ilk break, more often than not they are met with wide-scale ambivalence from me. Usually because such occurrences don't affect me to any great degree, but mainly because I simply don't care. I don't mean that in a cold-hearted way, but if I cared about every person falling ill or dying, I doubt I'd have time to eat my breakfast.
The story itself broke the other day, when it was announced that her cervical cancer had spread to other parts, and it's now literally a case of "how long?". I heard it on the radio on the way to work and found myself surprisingly saddened to hear it. The sadness was soon overtaken by shock at the simple fact that I cared so much. My opinions of Ms. Goody don't deserve airing here, especially in the light of this news, but the fact this had an impact on me can only suggest that I'm either ill or - gulp - a nice person.
I don't think it's unreasonable to feel dissent or aggression towards the likes of Goody, Katona, Diana, etc - they tend to raise the ire of most folk with their empty-headed, yo-yo-weighting oh-isn't-everything-terrible-for-me-cos-I've got-millions-in-the-bank-but-I'm-depressed cobblers. To say they are detached from reality is something of an understatement, especially when every week their latest toy boy or flower purchase it emblazoned on the cover of tomes such as Heat, Bliss and Cack magazine. They occupy a different sphere to us socially, but that doesn't make them any less susceptible to the big stuff, as Goody's plight has proven. Those with leanings towards made-up fearmonger God might nod knowingly at the "Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away" mantra this episode epitomises.
So where can I go from here, now that I've displayed sadness towards another person's tragedy? For years I've been the king of the non-caring, the bastion of all that it is not to give a shiny shite. And now what? Now, I'm feeling empathy for someone who probably doesn't deserve anything like that from me, but there it is. Personally I'd like to think it's a sign of a growing maturity in yours truly; proof that I'm finally turning that corner and considering other people's feelings and what have you.
I do hope so, because the alternative is too frightening to even contemplate...
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