Let 'em moan, let 'em moan, let 'em moan

Thank God the snow’s more or less gone now. No, not because I’ve been unable to get to work (although I was stuck at home on Monday), but because I am sick to the back teeth of people moaning about every single facet of the wintry conditions.

We’ve had people moaning that they couldn’t get to work, that the schools were shut, that the schools were still shut, that the schools weren’t shut, that they’re cars had been stuck for 3 days, that their road hadn’t been gritted. For the love of God, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I don’t work for the council nor do I hold any particular view of their ability or otherwise to look after the county, but give ‘em a break, will you? It’s not their fault that the snow fell, nor that the gritters can do the square root of bugger all when the snow comes down so quick the road is covered again literally minutes after the last visit. Nor is it their fault that villages on the outskirts of the Moon haven’t yet been reconnected to the outside world; there’s only a finite amount of salt to go round, and motorways tend to be slightly more important than some back road to a grotty little hamlet.

At work, somebody complained that their car was still stuck in the snow 3 days after the first fall. It took a Herculean effort not to say “well get a bloody spade and dig the bastard out then”. They seem to have missed the fact that the temperatures have stayed sub-zero for nearly a week now, so the snow isn’t going to melt. Nor are there any celestial beings akin to the tooth fairy who will dig it out while you sleep. Get a spade and do it yourself. It took me 15 minutes to dig 2 out using a small dust shovel the other day, so stop bleating.

I can symapthise with people who complain that the schools have been shut for too long – when I was at school you needed an imminent nuclear war to close the doors at ours – but there is a genuine danger for kids in the playground. When I was young, had I slipped over in the playground I would’ve been told off for being a cretin and sent on my way, but these days you can take your teacher, school and the entire LEA to court over a scraped knee. Until kids (and more importantly, parents) start taking responsibility for their own actions, the very lightest dusting of snow is likely to see schools slamming their doors quicker that you can say “out of court settlement”

There was also the story of a woman who complained that her daughter’s school hadn’t closed, and that she was worried about falling over in the playground. My legal representatives had advised me against commenting on this story for fear of a record-breaking amount of compensation being payable.

At the end of the day, it’s going to happen. It’s the worst snow in the London area since 1963 in some places, so it’s not like it happens every year. Have the day off, chuck a few snowballs and shut your moaning trap, before I give you something to moan about.