Breaking News: Er, water is wet?

Here's a fact that'll have you running for the hills in paranoid fear: Sky News take themselves a little too seriously.

On Sky TV, we're treated to two 24-hour news options: Sky and BBC. I personally use them both for different reasons; BBC for well-balanced and non-sensationalised headlines and information, and Sky for the red-button stuff which gives you the headlines whenever you want them.

At a recent family function I was wittering on about how Sky have a propensity for digging up any old twaddle, sticking it on the yellow ticker and deeming in Breaking News, whereas The Beeb tend to be a bit more relaxed and concentrate on things like actual news.

As an exercise in being smug, I proved it. I stuck 503 on where something about Afghanistan was being reported (for a change). No breaking news, no flashing banners, just an update on recent occurrences. I then switched to Sky News and predictably, there was breaking news. It read as follows:

"David Cameron says the NHS is a national institution"

Hmm. Pardon me if I'm wrong (and it's been known to happen), but is this news, or just someone's opinion? Granted, he's in a position of power, but if this is deemed breaking news, surely every opinion he expresses is the same. What next?

"David Cameron says 'This coffee is a bit hot'"
"David Cameron says 'Have you emptied the dishwasher?'"
"David Cameron says 'Look - everything I say ends up on Sky as breaking news. Sweet'"

It's bollocks, isn't it? When I was young, breaking news was a serious business. The Herald of Free Enterprise disaster, for example, or Lockerbie. They actually broke into normal TV to tell you of the unfolding disaster. Don't get me wrong, I can imagine that trying to find newsworthy material 24 hours a day can be a bit of a twat on slow-news days, but that's no reason to dress up someone's throw-away comments as must-read information. By all means report that he said it in the context of the story, but don't flag it as breaking news when it really, truly isn't.

Either that or start a new channel to furnish us with the inner monologues of people in power. Then we'd really find out what David Cameron thinks about Fabio Capello's selection policy. And not before time.