This story about the new over-the-counter slimming drug had me interested on the way home tonight. The product is called Orlistat, and is basically the latest in tub reduction technology.
On the radio, they had a health expert on. Usually these are dry, well-spoken chaps who reel out a series of statistics and easy-on-the-ear facts before saying "of course, there's no substitute for eating healthily and doing a bit of exercise, you fat bastards". Or words to that effect.
I expected that to happen (apart from the swearing) but instead was treated to the following sentence:
"Well, essentially the drug prevents your body from absorbing fat, so you poo out the fat"
A few seconds went past before my subconscious alerted me to what I'd just heard and I pricked my ears up. I was not disappointed.
Apparently, this is exactly what happens. The fat isn't ingested so it heads south to Pantstown, often coming out at unexpected times with explosive results. I was absolutely pissing myself laughing at stories such as shite with the consistency of oil spurting from one young lady after a bus journey became a bit...well...vibratey.
Another chap told of his horror at his orange stools, again oily, which were damn near impossible to shift from the bog. An absolute comedy joy.
The presenter made the valid point that orange permanent turd was a price worth paying for today's fashion- and weight-conscious youth, so no amount of preparing them for the inevitable 'disruptions' would make much difference. Put simply, no matter how painful and unpleasant, if it makes you thin, you're quids in (possible promotional quote there, market types).
As the interview ended, the two presenters discussed the issue, and one asked rhetorically what people would go through in their plight to become thin.
In this case, a few pairs of pants I would have thought...
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