A Happy New Year and all that jazz (I try not to get too bogged down in pleasantries at this time of year).
I don't know if you've heard, but there's been some kind of crunch on credit recently. I've had a scout round the papers and news channels but there's no mention of it anywhere. Obviously, I'm joking (with hilarious results). Not an hour goes by when some company which has been rubbish for 15 years finally decides enough's enough and lurches to its inevitable doom like the Poseidon, from the well-known diaster film "Titanic". MFI, Woolworths and now some middle-class plate outlet have all carked it recently, with thousands of relatively unskilled workers being belched back into an already bloated employment market. It's genuinely sad and worrying for those people and I hope they manage to find some way of making ends meet in the meantime.
However (and I know I'll be incurring the wrath of at least half a million of my readership here), it's had absolutely no effect on me whatsoever.
In fact, scratch that. If anything, I've positively benefitted from the recent economic downturn.
Before you start viciously assaulting me with a rolled-up P45, let me explain. About 6 months ago I was doing my usual online banking and I noticed that due to excessive going out and ill-informed DVD and Wii game purchases, I was skint, despite there being another 10 days until pay day. I had a bit of a panic, went through my statement line for line and determined the only course of action would be to tighten the old belt and stop making daft purchases. By November I was more or less back on a even keel and have started spunking my brass away on TV series I'll never watch again. Phew.
By now the Mrs had sold her house and had moved in with me, meaning she was saving X amount per month on non-mortgage payments, plus no bills or council tax, etc. That money has come in very nicely feathering our nest with a new carpet and assorted electronics, but I'm still paying the lion's share of the bills. All is well, you might say. The thing is, in an attempt to motivate spending, VAT has been cut, and fuel prices have also begun to return to normal, meaning I'm actually saving money for the same amount of expenditure as last year. I find it absolutely bizarre that in these times of fiscal dog turd I'm richer than I've ever been before. Apart from the odd bit of spending from the Mrs here and there I'm still living off my own earnings, yet doing better each month that this time last year.
Now, I'm not trying to gloat or set myself up for some 90's-style begging letters here. My point is that everywhere you look we're hearing about how we'll all be feeling the pinch and how Christmas would be a financial nightmare and how spiralling energy costs would see us all out of pocket, but my example proves that's a load of old horseradish, surely? Not for a minute am I suggesting that there aren't potentially millions of people suffering out there, but if I can go from being on the bones of my arse to being relatively well-off in the space of a few months thanks to a bit of careful planning, clearly it isn't as bad as it seems.
I know there are a million variables and counter arguments to my logic, but it's about time somebody said "Hold on a minute, Peston. It's not all doom and gloom out there. In fact, some spawny beggars (including yours truly) are actually doing alright out of the old Crunch Le Credite, so wind your neck in and stop being so sensationalist". Or summat.
Despite the monetary nay-sayers telling us the end is nigh, there will eventually be an end to the downturn. After years of unprecedented growth it was bound to happen, and avoiding the politics of the situation it appears Brown and Darling are on the right track to sorting it out. I hope everybody who has lost their job or is feeling the pinch is looked after and eventually helped back to their feet, but stop trying
to tell us that everyone in Britain is under the thumb of financial struggle. It simply isn't true.
Don't suppose you've got 10p for bus fare have you, squire...
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